The AF Life (alcohol free)
If you’ve been following the content on detoxing and pre-toxing, you probably already know how important it is to give your liver all the support it can get to help fight EBV infection. Don’t get me wrong, I really love the taste of wine, but once I realized that the horrible hang-overs from even the lightest drinking nights were a symptom of greater toxicity issues in my body, I decided to treat my liver and my body better. Plus, my doctor made a super strong suggestion and I listened.
The trouble is, living alcohol free (AF) is so disorienting at first! Our entire culture is wrapped up in drinking culture - from the wine-o-clock memes to the not-so-subtle pressure you’ll get from a friend at a dinner party. It’s hard to abstain when alcohol is all around and linked so heavily with nearly all the ways we have fun and connect with others. Before moving to AF living, I had been pregnant twice which was a nice onramp to this lifestyle change. But jeesh, we can’t even have a baby shower anymore without booze, can we? And how many articles are we searching for “how much wine can I safely drink while pregnant?” No? Just me?
While many struggle with any sort of sobriety for many reasons, I found my biggest personal struggle was twofold: 1) The rituals of drinking, and 2) The taste of drinking. (I feel fortunate that the 3rd major factor - the “feeling” of drinking was something I long ago fell out of love with.) What am I going to do to mark the start of the weekend? How will I celebrate happy news? How will I bond with my coworkers? What will I do to transition after a rough day at work? What will I have with a fancy dinner?
In my experience, these are the questions that pull alcohol deep into our everyday rituals. In order to support your goals, rethinking and rebuilding your rituals is key. Try a quick brainstorm, considering the moments I mention above - What’s most important at these moments? What can you live without? What are you dreading living without? The dread list…that’s where you start.
For me, the hardest thing to let go of was my nearly nightly glass of red wine, especially Friday night red wine. It was the light switch that helped me flip from work to “me time.” While I missed the taste, it was mostly the ritual of pausing, opening, pouring and sipping on something smooth and comforting. After a little adjustment and fine-tuning, I have found that an AF beverage and a chaser of hot herbal tea does the trick. There are even some decent AF Wines being made now, which I’ll share in my AF Review posts.
Are you a people-pleaser? An extrovert? If so, then parties and social gatherings are going to be maybe toughest of all. My friends and family include several folks that I’d call “varsity” drinkers. If your social circle is similar, then you’ll want to think ahead about what you’ll be sipping alongside everyone else. What’s most important to you? Fitting in? Sharing? Being the center of attention or a wallflower? In my own experience, it took about a year of explaining to people that I’m not pregnant and have simply chosen to take care of my body differently. While there are whole books written about making this shift, including this awesome one, the resistance, confusion and judgement you’ll receive from others will be weird, disorienting and illuminating to say the least. I have two thoughts to offer: #1 - You are a badass and you can do hard things. Fighting EBV is much harder than a little social discomfort. #2 - This friction you’ll feel from others is about their own issues with alcohol. Try to see it through a lens of empathy rather than frustration.
Once you map out the places and moments you’ll be replacing booze, then comes the fun but hard part - what will you drink instead? If you don’t have a backup, you are going to feel sad, left out or worse. And I’m here to tell you - La Croix ain’t gonna cut it. Here are just some of my favorite solutions:
Beer - I love Athletic Brewing
Grown-up Fun - Ghia Aperitif, De Soi Golden Hour
Sparkling Wine - Joyous, Surely Sparkling White
Red Wine (Still on the hunt for an acceptable replacement…stay tuned)
Something All Their Own - Seedlip Spice & Grove (these are nice replacements to spirits in classic cocktails, but not trying to replicate a flavor)
Sprits* - Kentucky 74, Lyre’s Rum
*Caution: While many of these spirit replacements are tasty, their sugar content can be quite high, nearly as hard on your liver as the alcohol itself.
I’d love to hear which drinks you miss the most and which favorites you are finding. I have so many more AF Reviews on the way - stay tuned!
